catastr0ph3 (catastr0ph3) wrote in therant,
catastr0ph3
catastr0ph3
therant

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i hate florida

shut up...anybody who remotely likes florida just--please--go away.
i am ranting which means i care NOTHING for your input.
I hate florida.
i hate the 9,000 types of bugs and creeping crawling insectoid fuckers that live here--and i hate the motherfuckers who oh-so politely explain WHAT kind of beetle or roach i just smashed...
and i hate the flatness. i am living on a giant swampy pancake over run by inbred fuckheads from lower north podunk who's momma and uncle are auntie and grandpa, too.
trucks. why do you need a truck? here? why not just get a hovercraft?
do you redneck pissants have penises so miniscule that the only compensation your three brain cells can come up with is to own the biggest ugliest 4 wheel drive behemoth you can? Or is it the only way you can haul your wife's large ass over to her momma's on sundays before YA'LL git to church?
nonono--these are rhetorical questions. please don't answer.
I hate long flat straight roads without lights...miles of asphault winding out like a gray ribbon from hell...or to hell.
palmetto bugs, palmetto trees?
WHAT?
can't one of them get their own name?
back to those 3 brain cells.
i hate plastic pink flamingoes, the university of florida logo, this town and everything that even REMINDS me of it.
I was happy standing in the ocean yesterday. thought that odd because i was in florida....then i realized that i wasn't in florida when i am in the ocean.
a technicality, yes....but i cling to what little escape i may have.
driving back i was behind an SUV with a big ol' fluridoh gators logo on him's spare tire cover (the one on the vehicle--although i am quite sure he could have used it for the spare tire on his torso toooo.)
and i wanted to cry.
i wanted to stop the car.
i did not want to return here.
when i got back i looked at the front of my little white car...and lo and behold--at least a few hundred of those bugs were plastered to the front.
this made me feel somewhat happy also.
nope--no point...just spewing.
hates the nasty florida....hates it!
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